14 Comments
User's avatar
Heather Tencza's avatar

We just lost so much because of this type of systemic gaslighting. Your words brought me great hope and clarity. Thank you.

Wade Mullen's avatar

I’m so sorry for what you’ve lost. Systemic gaslighting can take so much and leave so much confusion in its wake. I’m grateful these words could offer some clarity and hope.

Ginger Hobbs's avatar

Once again, I am in awe of the way you have articulated so beautifully something that, apparently many of us have witnessed and experienced. To read someone else's words that have been so uniquely and personally experienced is a wonder to me. I am so grateful, again, to God for leading me to writers gifted to speak for those of us who don't have the words.

LJ's avatar

I agree. Words that I would’ve written had I the words.

Wade Mullen's avatar

Thank you for sharing this. I’m grateful the words helped give shape to something you’ve lived and witnessed.

Ginny Barker's avatar

This has been my life, over and over again, and I have lost my entire community and support system and disgruntled family when I have tried to speak the truth. Thank you for your validating words.

Wade Mullen's avatar

I’m so sorry for what you’ve lost in telling the truth. Losing community and family for the sake of integrity is a profound grief. I’m grateful the words are validating to you.

Stephanie S.'s avatar

Your ability to put understanding and language to these dynamics is so very helpful. Thank you, Wade.

Wade Mullen's avatar

Thank you. I’m really glad the language is helpful.

Lore Wilbert's avatar

Thank you for this, Wade.

Molly Morton Sydorak's avatar

A constellation.

I’ll carry this with me.

Thank you, Wade

Laura Flanders's avatar

In 2020 I walked away from a beloved seminary faculty position because I could no longer stay put in a system responsible for so much harm done. It’s been what you call a solitary endurance. Thank you for all that you’ve written (including your PhD dissertation). It’s helped me more than I can explain.

Sarah Margaret Holliday's avatar

I can’t articulate everything I want to say right now but this was a breath of fresh air — fresh, courageous hope. My family and I have lost so much due to having been in a system you so clearly described. Part of losing proximity to it, thankfully, has been a new sense of clarity and freedom but it all still feels so fresh and surreal. Thank you, for being a witness and stirrer of hope again in me.

Launer's avatar

During that time in my life, I had often asked myself, "Should I count my losses or focus on my gains?" But even such an exercise would have revealed that there were more losses than gains, I had nurtured and grown a hopeless faith, in systematic gaslighting. When I finally found the courage, I grieved. It was continuous, here and there I'd find something new to grieve, and accepted that I have to grieve the grief I was not allowed to grieve before. Now, I vaguely remember the pain of carrying so much hopelessness. I have re-hoped.

Thank you for capturing this so well, Wade.