The part I see most from the counseling room is what happens after enough exposure: the phrases install themselves. The system eventually needs no spokesman, because the person does the recasting alone. Fear arrives and they hear “where is your faith” in their own voice before anyone speaks. Grief surfaces and they accuse themselves of refusing to move on. The gaslight becomes self-administering, which is why leaving the environment ends the messaging but not the mechanism. Recovery asks for something slower than exit: relearning to receive your own alarms as witnesses again. Your inventory practice names the counter-move exactly. The alarm was testifying all along. Witnesses can be recalled.
I have appreciated this series--and all of your work--so much as I have walked through a difficult season. Thank you for bringing clarity and compassion when the world is tipped upside down.
Will you be publishing these seven months of articles as a book. They are so clear and insightful as we consider some of our experiences in specific churches.
I have heard raising concerns described as uncollegial, inappropriate communication, and insubordinate. Even speaking up to protect human life was described as inappropriate. This is very helpful.
It is strange the level to which you understand the very situation we walked through. We, and past co workers, were committed to speaking up out of desire for truth and grace, to be met with the very things you warn about. It is so important to know we are not alone and your work has been shared in the hopes others will find it as comforting as I have. Thank you!
Emotions are not infallible, but neither are they evidence of spiritual failure. Fear, anger, grief, and empathy may be warning lights pointing toward danger, injustice, loss, or suffering. Healthy leadership examines both the emotion and what caused it. Manipulative leadership condemns the alarm so it never has to answer for the fire.
This is exactly what happens to all of us, like canaries in coal mines. The prophets are never well received in their home towns, right? The church must be better. May it be. 🙏🏻
Thank-you for sharing these necessary and helpful insights over this series. Personally, your words have been immensely helpful to me as I continue to navigate through and out of injustice, unrighteousness, the false narrative of those perpetrating it, and the deafening silence of many around.
I recall Hassan's work on cult environments, which he characterised by the BITE acronym: control of Behaviour, Information, Thought and Emotion. This recasting of emotions and the concept of concealed stigmas shows one way of controlling emotions. Fascinating, especially that concept of concealed stigmas
These are helpful questions: “What danger might fear be trying to draw my attention toward? What injustice is my anger refusing to ignore? What has been lost that deserves to be named and mourned? What keeps drawing me toward the suffering of another? What burden have they been carrying that perhaps no one else has been willing to see? “. Thank you
The part I see most from the counseling room is what happens after enough exposure: the phrases install themselves. The system eventually needs no spokesman, because the person does the recasting alone. Fear arrives and they hear “where is your faith” in their own voice before anyone speaks. Grief surfaces and they accuse themselves of refusing to move on. The gaslight becomes self-administering, which is why leaving the environment ends the messaging but not the mechanism. Recovery asks for something slower than exit: relearning to receive your own alarms as witnesses again. Your inventory practice names the counter-move exactly. The alarm was testifying all along. Witnesses can be recalled.
Thanks for sharing!
The phrases install themselves.”
I have appreciated this series--and all of your work--so much as I have walked through a difficult season. Thank you for bringing clarity and compassion when the world is tipped upside down.
Will you be publishing these seven months of articles as a book. They are so clear and insightful as we consider some of our experiences in specific churches.
I have heard raising concerns described as uncollegial, inappropriate communication, and insubordinate. Even speaking up to protect human life was described as inappropriate. This is very helpful.
It is strange the level to which you understand the very situation we walked through. We, and past co workers, were committed to speaking up out of desire for truth and grace, to be met with the very things you warn about. It is so important to know we are not alone and your work has been shared in the hopes others will find it as comforting as I have. Thank you!
Emotions are not infallible, but neither are they evidence of spiritual failure. Fear, anger, grief, and empathy may be warning lights pointing toward danger, injustice, loss, or suffering. Healthy leadership examines both the emotion and what caused it. Manipulative leadership condemns the alarm so it never has to answer for the fire.
This is exactly what happens to all of us, like canaries in coal mines. The prophets are never well received in their home towns, right? The church must be better. May it be. 🙏🏻
Thank-you for sharing these necessary and helpful insights over this series. Personally, your words have been immensely helpful to me as I continue to navigate through and out of injustice, unrighteousness, the false narrative of those perpetrating it, and the deafening silence of many around.
I recall Hassan's work on cult environments, which he characterised by the BITE acronym: control of Behaviour, Information, Thought and Emotion. This recasting of emotions and the concept of concealed stigmas shows one way of controlling emotions. Fascinating, especially that concept of concealed stigmas
Really appreciate all your work in this field, thank you.
I feel so seen from this post ♥️
Physical sensations with each line. Noticeably less tense by the end. I can’t wait to read it again after a night’s sleep!
These are helpful questions: “What danger might fear be trying to draw my attention toward? What injustice is my anger refusing to ignore? What has been lost that deserves to be named and mourned? What keeps drawing me toward the suffering of another? What burden have they been carrying that perhaps no one else has been willing to see? “. Thank you
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Great insights! Thanks. It is much easier to figure out what is going on when previously explained what might happen.